We (Binu and Ajay) recently sat down with some of our singles for a candid conversation about life at Seven Mile Road as a single. We left the night so grateful for these saints, their transparency, their honesty, and their love for Jesus and our church. Here are some insights from our time together.
What Singles Want Us to Know
- Singles don’t find their sole identity in their singleness. They are individuals before they are singles. They have careers, and pay bills, and work jobs, and care about success, and are looking to serve God…like the rest of us. Singles have an entire life and story that goes beyond their relationship status.
- Being single in a church like Seven Mile Road is not easy. The majority of our church is made up of young families. There are kids everywhere and the number is growing. Sometimes it can be very stretching for a single person to be at a church saturated with so many families.
- At the same time, singles are grateful that not everyone at the church is just like them. They’re glad that they are not at a church of all singles. On several occasions, we heard them say, “I’ve learned so much being around the married folks at Seven Mile Road.”
- Being single comes with wonderful blessings. You are free and flexible in your schedule, your time, and your ability to serve the Lord as He leads. There’s nothing “tying you down.” At the same time, it comes with loneliness. A deep sense of waiting on God to bring the right person into your life. A wrestling with why God won’t do it already. It can feel like a blessing and a curse at the same time.
- Seven Mile Road has generally been a welcoming place for singles. Invitations for meals, going out for coffee, being included in the lives of families has not gone unnoticed. Instead it is sincerely appreciated. Often singles would love to reciprocate and extend the invitation. Yet variables like children’s bed-times, flexibility of schedule, etc are considerable hurdles to overcome.
- So many people at Seven Mile Road are cognizant of singles. Husbands will watch the kids for a few hours so that their wives can go out with single women. This is wonderful and needs to be embraced by all of us.
- Our singles are committed to Seven Mile Road. There are churches in the city, with an abundance of single, young, professionals. And yet, they come to Seven Mile Road in the Northeast because they love the people and feel called to our mission.
What We Want Singles to Know
- You are a genuine part of Seven Mile Road. Not after you get married and become like the “rest of us.” Now. We want more than for Seven Mile Road to be a place that doesn’t alienate singles. We want it to be a place where singles thrive. There’s a difference. And in order for that to happen, we need singles living out their singleness as genuine full members of the church. It’s like for a church to be truly diverse, the point is not for everyone to meld into one ethnicity, but to live out our cultural differences in unity. Seven Mile Road is not a married person’s church or a singles church. It is a gospel-centered church for people in every station of life. Our church would not be what it is without you.
- We have as much to learn from you as you have to learn from us.
- Live this season well for Jesus (1 Cor. 7:32-35)
- Contentment comes from God, not marriage. When you hear married folks complain about marriage or children, it should clue you into the reality that sinners always see the grass as greener on the other side. Don’t assume that if you could just get married, you’d be content. Commit yourself to being able to say with Paul, “I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.” (Phil. 4:11)
- Keep pursuing Christ-centered joy and sacrificial living. At the end of the night, we asked the group if they had any questions for us. The only question we got was, “How can we be serving the church as singles?” How amazing is that! Let us all “look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Phil. 2:4) For example, be as intentional about serving married folks as you hope they would be about serving you. Be observant and learn about the challenges that young families face. Seek not to be served, but to serve. Like Jesus.
- The happiest, holiest, most content, fulfilled, joyful, unselfish, complete human being in history was a single. His name is Jesus. For all of us, married or single, life is found in Him.