Marriage is Like a Vase

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  • January 28, 2014

The following is a guest post from Sabu & Princy Mathew

At Seven Mile Road, the first Sunday of the year is Testimony Sunday and together, Sabu and I, shared how God walked with us in 2013.  In sharing our testimony below, we hope that you will find encouragement in your situation. The truth is, God is the creator of marriage and if you are in this covenant, God is on your side to see your marriage flourish for His glory; so fight for your marriage. Here you go:

Marriages are like an intact vase. At the start, both husband and wife fill the vase with those things that enabled the attraction and life long commitment…friendship, joy, humor, excitement,  kindness, respect, forgiveness, happiness, and the list goes on.…

But what also happens at the start of some marriages are unresolved disagreements or issues that are not really a big deal but create these fine micro-cracks to the vase, blemishes that don’t affect the structural integrity of the vase or your marriage but remain throughout.

Over time, however, when more things get added, like long work hours,  passing schedules, one child,  the demands of raising a family, daily routines, the second child, house and auto maintenance, the third child, mini-vans, man to zone parenting, college planning, family drama, the fourth child, and sick parents,  the vase gets stressed and those micro-cracks become gaping holes.

Your marriage gets drained and what is left are the unresolved issues.

After meeting with us for a few months, our marriage counselor said, “A secular marriage counselor would tell you this marriage is headed for divorce…but what they don’t count on is the power of God to change hearts of the hardened and make the seemingly impossible possible.”

It was God’s grace that during this very difficult and hopeless time, He had us here at Seven Mile Road church with you, with our soul care family, and with a Christian marriage counselor. Many people prayed for us as we ourselves were asking God to search our hearts, to show us that our marriage was worth fighting for, and we are learning that with God, nothing is impossible.  Friends, what we had deemed hopeless is beginning to look much alive.  Where once we were bitter, angry, and resentful towards each other, God is transforming us to be caring, patient, understanding, and loving instead.

And all this is not because of stubborn, arrogant, proud, and sinful us, but because of a loving, patient, gracious, and sinless God who loved us in spite of who we were.  As we are realizing His generous love towards us, He is becoming our example and our hearts are being softened towards each other.

Sometimes, God brings us to difficult places in our lives, where we feel hopeless and alone and in that desperate place, He meets us.  He proves to be faithful and ever present.  When we have nothing to hold onto, God holds us and offers us peace.  Although, we were in this difficult season together, the Holy Spirit was working.  We didn’t see the works, but we trusted that He was there.

So, even if we kept quiet, the stones would cry out and praise God for His goodness towards us.  We are overwhelmed by God’s blessing on our marriage—that He would transform our hearts to share in the privilege of sharing our lives together.

God is healing the holes in our marriage.  It was not by us trying harder, or just saying something different; that wouldn’t have worked. We were so entrenched in our pasts and hurt feelings that it would have led to the same arguments we have always had.

God changed our hearts to respond to each other in a different way.  In 2013, He completely changed the trajectory of our marriage – 180 degrees. The seemingly impossible became possible. Our marriage is intact.

To be clear, it is not without struggle, conflict, busyness, zone parenting or stress but it is also now beginning to have friendship, joy, humor, excitement,  kindness, respect, forgiveness, happiness, HOPE and the list goes on.…

We look forward to what He has in store for us in 2014.

Photo Credit: fermicat via Compfight cc

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About Ajay Thomas

Ajay lives in Philadelphia with his wife Shainu and their kids Hannah and Micah. He is responsible for preaching and vision as a pastor at Seven Mile Road.

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