The following is written by Katie Green. Katie is a member of Seven Mile Road Church
I often feel like the prodigal son who starts his journey home rehearsing over and over what he will say as way of apology; desperate to just be given a position as one of his father’s hired men. I understand feeling content to stand outside the door and be handed some scraps, thinking it’s all I’m allowed. I understand longing to be cherished by the Father, instead of merely tolerated.
Recently I sat listening to the story of the prodigal son and I wondered to myself, “What happens when you have already been found but you still struggle to believe that the heart of the Father towards you is joy and delight? What happens when you struggle to believe that the Father runs out to meet you instead of reluctantly opening the door because He feels as though He has to?”
I resonate with feeling lost. I’m familiar with feeling like you’re stumbling around in the dark, not sure where you’re going or what you’re doing. These thoughts happen most when the ideas and plans I’ve carefully created for what I believe will be best for me, slowly crumble all around me. Then the thought struck me, ‘What if Jesus wants to find me again every morning?’
Every time I doubt, every time I question, every time I forget who He is and who I am, what if that is exactly the place where He wants to find me all over again?
That scary in between place.
What if we are found by Jesus in the place where we are sitting in the dirt looking up Him, not quite able to believe for ourselves? What if that’s where the Father jumps up, runs to me with reckless abandon, and sweeps me up into his arm; wrapped up in the safest love I’ve ever known? I know Jesus delights in me always, but what if I actually made space to come face to face with His delight?
I need Jesus to find me again every morning.
Because I can’t live off yesterday’s reminder of who He is and who I am. I can’t love others well enough on yesterday’s grace. I can’t believe truth well enough on yesterday’s encouragement.
I’m so thankful that my invitation to meet with Jesus is not dependent on my week’s performance. It’s not based on whether I measure up or on the times I’ve failed. Even when I’ve had a hard week, even when I’ve had to go back to God over and over and say, “I’m sorry, I messed up,” my invitation still doesn’t get taken away.
I love that I always get to hear Him say, “Come! I want you to come! You’re invited back again! I never get tired of inviting you back. I never grow weary or impatient or frustrated. I LOVE to see your face at my table.”
Every week that I take communion is a reminder of the vow that God has made to me that He will be faithful. When I am faithless, He remains faithful. Thank God my relationship with Him is not dependent on my grip on Him but on His grip on me. I could never hang on tight enough, but I am thankful that He has promised to never let go.
Thank God that He will never stop finding me.
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